Sep

27

Cigarette ban in me local pub

 

me mates

If you’re looking for the original Stevenage site, you can thank some local soccer hooligans for its disappearance. Used to be that if you wanted to be a soccer hooligan, you’d grab a lead pipe and go bash property and opposing fans across the head with it. Nowadays, soccer hooligans like to deface websites. Our original site was taken down by some immature punks and we have decided to create an all new site about pubs, soccer and e-cigs.

There’s nothing I like more than pounding a few pints with me mates at the local pub while I chain smoke a carton of smokes. That’s “cigarettes” to you Americans. Here is a picture of me and m8’s right before we entered the local pub to watch the latest football match. We had been going to this pub for almost 10 years, until a new change in the rules almost caused us to stop patronizing this establishment. I went online and found a few straight talk promo codes to use to save some money.

Last week me local pub (the Cock and Bull located in Manchester) outright banned cigarettes. I knew this country was turning into a nanny state, controlled by marxists, but this was the final straw. How am I supposed to get pissed on the weekend after working a 60 hour work week? Not to mention I had to put up with me misses nitpicking me about the chores she thinks I should be doing around the flat. Sometimes, I wish we could go back to the 1970’s. Me misses would get a good solid right cross to her face for opening her fat gob, and me local pub would encourage me to purify me lungs as I chain smoke 3 cartons of cigarettes while pounding back pint after pint after pint of lager. But we live in an age wherein women have rights and people get mad if you offend their feelings, so I had to come up with an alternative solution to me quandary.

A few days ago, one of me mates showed up at the pub. Every few minutes he would put a device up to his mouth and suck on it. He would then exhale a huge cloud of what appeared to be smoke, yet it was not smoke. It did not smell, nor did it linger in the air. I told him that we weren’t allowed to smoke cigarettes in the pub and if the bartender caught us, he’d give us the ol’ heave-ho onto the cobblestone streets of London. He took another long drag and told me to chill out. He was smoking something he called an “ecig”. He said it was an electronic device that gave you the nicotine fix, without having the offensive or polluting smoke that comes from smoking actual cigarettes.

He gave me the device and told me to push the button on the side and inhale. I did and was instantly greeting with a very mild vapor in my lungs. It kind of tasted like candy. After a few seconds, I exhaled a large cloud of “smoke”, yet it was not smoke. It was pure h20 water vapor. I felt the warming buzz as the nicotine hit my brain and thought to myself, “this is pretty good”.

Apparently the bars were ok with their patrons smoking e-cigarettes while we watched the football games. Since all we were exhaling was water vapor, all of the non smoking sissy’s couldn’t complain. Even the local mayor of the town was vaping in the corner of the pub.

It was at this point I realized I needed to start researching what these “ecigs” were all about. I used to be the head captain of the football team, but a few years ago I was participating in some soccer hooligans and got me noggin smashed right in by another hooligan from the opposing team. I had to shut down the football club, but I am bringing this site back online now and it will be about my newfound love in life: vaping.

I’m going to be dedicating this site to my two loves in life: football and vaping. I can walk into the local grocery store with my e-cigarette and vape to my heart’s content. Nobody complains, nobody tells me “Sir, you’re making a scene, please leave the premises immediately.”

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